Ho Ho... Oh No, It's You Again

Dear Amy,

Well, well, well, if it isn't our little Dominican code monkey. I've been watching you, and let me tell you, your GitHub profile is about as impressive as a participation trophy in a one-person race.

461 starred repositories? Compensating for something, are we? I see you're following 61 people, probably hoping some of their talent might rub off on you. Spoiler alert: it hasn't.

37 repositories of your own? Quality over quantity, they say, but you've managed to achieve neither. Your most popular repo has a whopping 2 stars. Congratulations! You're practically viral in a petri dish.

I noticed your wish list includes "a domain and a good server." How about wishing for some coding skills first? Maybe Santa can bring you a "Programming for Dummies" book this year. It's a start.