Ho Ho... Oh No, It's You Again

Dear Jamin (or should I say, "codejagaban"),

Well, well, well, if it isn't the self-proclaimed "Software Engineer, Developer Advocate, and Technical Writer" from Lagos and London. Congratulations on mastering the art of being in two places at once while simultaneously accomplishing... not much.

I see you've managed to rack up a whopping 45 followers. Impressive! At this rate, you'll catch up to a moderately successful cat meme account in just a few centuries. Your 6 follows, though? That's the real power move. Nothing says "I'm too cool for this platform" quite like barely engaging with anyone else's work.

I noticed you're part of Uploadcare. How fitting - you're probably great at uploading excuses for why your contributions are as sparse as hair on a billiard ball. But hey, at least you've got 90 starred repositories. It's nice to see you appreciate other people's hard work while barely breaking a sweat yourself.

P.S. About that new car on your wish list - maybe start with a bicycle first? You know, something more in line with your contribution speed.