From the Desk of

Dear Doug "Terminally Online" Silkstone,

Ho ho ho! Or should I say, "npm install ho-ho-ho"? I've been watching your GitHub profile, and boy, what a rollercoaster of mediocrity it's been!

I see you're a "Professional corner-cutter." Well, congratulations! You've certainly cut corners on making meaningful contributions this year. 91 repositories and only 197 commits? I've seen Christmas elves with more productivity, and they work one day a year!

Your bio claims you're "TypeScript dependent," but I'm starting to think you're more "copy-paste dependent." And what's this? "Available for consulting"? Let me save your potential clients some time: "Step 1: Create repository. Step 2: Abandon repository."

I noticed your wish list has only one item: "A job. Really." Well, with your stellar track record of unfinished projects and "quick and dirty" templates, I'm sure employers are lining up around the block. Maybe try wishing for some follow-through instead?

PS: Next year, try contributing to something other than your ego. Maybe then you'll get more than coal in your stocking!