From the Desk of

Dear Evan "I'm-Too-Cool-For-Twitter" Slack,

Ho ho ho! Or should I say, "Go go go!" since that seems to be your language of choice? I've been watching your GitHub profile, and boy, do I have some thoughts!

First off, 831 starred repositories? I'm impressed. It's almost as if you're trying to collect stars faster than I deliver presents. But quantity doesn't always mean quality, does it? I noticed you have a whopping 43 repositories of your own. Congratulations on your digital hoarding skills!

Speaking of skills, I see you're "learning and building with go, rust, python, and typescript." Wow, a jack of all trades and a master of... well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Your 'pyminion' project has 20 stars - that's adorable. It's like a little Christmas tree with 20 tiny lights. Keep at it, champ!

Lastly, I couldn't help but notice your bio. It's so minimalist, it makes a snowflake look complicated. "Software engineer from Boston" - truly riveting stuff. Maybe for Christmas, I'll bring you a personality to go with that mechanical engineering degree.

P.S. Next time you're working on your "homelab" project 'slacknet', remember: the only thing slacking should be your hammock on vacation, not your code contributions!