From the Desk of

Dear Fran Forlizzi,

Ho ho... oh no. Is this what passes for an open source contributor these days? I've seen more activity in a graveyard than on your GitHub profile.

One whole issue contribution? Wow, slow down there, tiger! At this rate, you'll single-handedly revolutionize the tech industry by the year 3000. I bet your keyboard is pristine, untouched by the ravages of actual coding.

Your two starred repositories are probably the most action your profile has seen. I'm surprised you even remembered your login credentials. Maybe for Christmas, I'll bring you a "Git for Dummies" book and a participation trophy for your valiant effort in the open source community.

P.S. Next year, try asking for some coding motivation on your wish list. Clearly, you need it more than a new gaming console.