From the Desk of

Dear Howie,

Ho ho ho! Or should I say, "No no no"? I've been watching your GitHub profile, and let me tell you, it's about as exciting as watching paint dry in the North Pole.

Eight whole repositories? Wow, you're really pushing the boundaries of productivity there, aren't you? I've seen elves make more toys in their sleep. And let's talk about that bio: "This account is for work." Really? I couldn't tell from the overwhelming lack of... well, work.

I see you've managed to fork a project called "T-REX". How fitting! Your contribution history is practically extinct. But hey, at least you've got 10 followers. I guess there are 10 people out there who enjoy watching glaciers move.

P.S. I noticed you want a new office chair. Maybe if you actually used it for coding instead of just spinning around, you'd have more than 0 commit contributions this year. Just a thought!