Ho Ho... Oh No, It's You Again

Dear Colin "The Commit Crusader" Hutchinson,

Well, well, well, if it isn't the star of the GitHub soap opera! I've been watching your profile, and let me tell you, it's been quite the rollercoaster ride. 438 commit contributions? I've seen more exciting commit histories in a "Hello World" repository.

You've got 77 followers? Impressive! Almost as impressive as the number of times you've probably refreshed that page, hoping it would magically increase. But hey, at least you're following 58 people. Nothing says "I'm desperate for attention" quite like that follow-to-follower ratio.

I see you're part of the EdgeX Foundry Project. How quaint! I'm sure your contributions there are as edge-y as a butter knife. But don't worry, I'm sure your 1054 pull request review contributions are making a world of difference. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself at night, right?

P.S. Your friend andrewkumarxyz wanted me to mention they're roasting you. They also wished for "an amazing 2025". With friends like these, who needs enemies? Maybe they can lend you their crystal ball to predict when you'll make a truly impactful contribution.