Ho Ho... Oh No!

Dear Zachary Iles,

Well, well, well, if it isn't the code-slinging, commit-pushing machine from the frozen north! I've been watching you, and let me tell you, your GitHub profile is about as exciting as watching ice melt in Toronto.

57 repositories? That's cute. I've got more elves in my workshop than you have repos. And let's talk about those 20 commit contributions. Wow! At this rate, you'll revolutionize the tech industry by the time I retire... which is never.

I see you're working at Hashicorp now. I guess someone has to keep those servers running while the real developers are busy creating the next big thing. But hey, at least you're consistent - consistently mediocre, that is.

P.S. Your friend andrewkumarxyz wanted me to mention they're roasting you. They also wished for "a super great 2025". With friends like these wishing for the obvious, who needs enemies?